Just before the anniversary of Prince’s passing, Carver County Police released the image files they had from their investigation at Paisley Park. News outlets were posting articles on the conclusion of the investigation. I didn’t read the articles. I already knew what happened. But I got a hold of the files the police has released and ended up looking through the stuff they had. After my own investigation, I read some of the articles in the news and found that my own conclusions were matching the official story.
Prince in spirit had told me that he was hiding his pills in emptied vitamin bottles. His dying was a process that was a result of choices he made. He takes responsibility for his passing, though there were transgressions that caused his unexpected early demise. Last year, I had a vivid dream where he showed me that he was hiding pills in his pockets.
The reason I am writing this post is because I want to set the record straight in such a way that the media hasn’t been able to do. The official story is true, but many of Prince’s fans and conspiracy-type followers won’t let go of their false accusations. They insist on an alternate version of what they believed happened, despite all the clear evidence. I think it’s great that people have a critical view of authority and the media; however, not everything is fake or a conspiracy. If anything, people who do not do their homework should not be going out there spreading lies about his death. Not every case of a celebrity death is a result of foul play.
Due to my personal connection with P, I get very offended when people insist that he was murdered by supposedly jealous associates or music industry secret society members. Some start making unjustified accusations, blaming his friends and family. I understand how much people love Prince, but pointing fingers, looking for someone to blame; it takes away consideration for who he is as a person. I am offended by these conspiracy theories, click-bait speculation, and wild accusations because it is not the truth.
Perhaps it is human nature to find someone to blame when something horrible happens. People cannot seem to handle the fact that their idols are fragile human beings, that they are not infallible, that they are mere mortal beings, like you and I. And maybe by recognizing this fact alone, you have to face up to the fact that you have every responsibility in your own life to make the most of it.
False conclusions about his death take away from the true meaning of his life, and this is why I write to point out the truth. Prince is an outstanding person, not because he is special and talented, but because he did the best he could with whatever he had in life.
Many people cannot accept the fact that he made a choice where he took opioid medications. They say things like, but he was “so energetic and upbeat at his last performance”. Such a statement speaks to his true commitment as an artist. They don’t realize his many health struggles.
From an early age, he dealt with epilepsy and suffered seizures. Though they subsided when he got older, he developed other issues from being a performer. Prince was someone who strived for excellence. He would often outdo himself, he never missed a beat. He wore high heels on and off stage. By the time he was in his 30’s, he was using a walking cane. He made it look stylish, but he was genuinely using it for support. By the time he reached his 50’s, his pain was so severe that he would need hip surgery. He didn’t complain about his health issues to anyone. He is not that type of person. He kept his personal problems private, even from “close” friends. He played through the pain and used whatever medication he could to cope.
As it was reported in the media, Prince was taking opioid medication,one in a generic form of oxycodone, and what he thought was Vicodin. Vicodin is mainly used for back pain, it is a highly controlled substance, and a doctor will cut your prescription past a certain point, which often leaves patients struggling to cope with withdrawal and severe pain. (Didn’t you ever see the medical drama series, House? The doc gets addicted to the Vicodin.) Many patients become so desperate that they find other (illegal) means to get a hold of this medication. Vicodin is a oval shaped tablet, which is stamped with the words, “Watson 853”. Many counterfeit versions of the drug appears identical, but do not contain the same ingredients; often containing fentanyl, which the buyer is unknowing of. A bottle for over-the-counter pills at Prince’s bedside was found to contain Watson 853.
Another suitcase was found with bottles of vitamin C that were found to contain the illicit Watson 853 pills.
Other medications were found, including medicines that were prescribed the day before his passing. These medications were for treating opioid withdrawal symptoms and the prevention of seizures. These medications had nothing to do with his passing. The passing was due to fentanyl toxicity. Fentanyl is very easy to overdose on, and having no awareness that one is taking it is deadly. It does not appear to be that he was aware that his pills were laced with fentanyl. He was struggling to get off the opioids and he was looking into rehab in the San Francisco area. Pamphlets for a rehab centre were found on his desk.
For those that are still not convinced that he took opioids, here is another fact for you. Opioid medications are known to cause constipation. A shopping bag full of laxatives were found. A receipt dated January 10, 2015, shows that he bought 4 packages of laxatives. Two other bottle of laxatives were also found in his bathroom. Maybe this is too TMI for you, but these are the facts.
Other nutritional supplements were found throughout the building. These supplements show that he had concern for bone issues, muscle mass issues, stress and anxiety, brain function, energy levels, and overall immune system function. Due to his vegetarian (not vegan) diet, he has concern for B-12 defficiency. Although it appeared that he had a lot of pills, I do not feel that it was an unreasonable amount. He maintained a steady supply of supplements to help him keep from getting sick while travelling on tour. He took things like oregano pills and vitamin C powder. The media made it sound like he was a pill junkie. I have many supplement bottles at my house. If anyone were to see my stash, they might think I was a pill junkie too. My point is, the media can paint you a story just by being selective with facts and evidence.
Though I am heart broken that his physical body has expired, I am glad that he is no longer suffering in constant pain. The fact that people refuse to believe that he was in pain is somewhat insulting; it shows lack of empathy and a failure to appreciate what he really did. His legacy should be looked upon with great admiration; not because he was an amazing musician, but because despite all of his chronic pain and suffering, he accomplished so much in his lifetime. He did not allow himself to become a victim of his condition, he didn’t complain, he strived to be his best everyday, even if he felt grumpy or tempermental at times. He took responsibility of his life and made something of it. Not many are willing to do the same, they would rather make excuses for themselves.
Although he is no loner here in the physical, I assure you, as his twin soul, that he is well and fine in spirit. He wrote many songs making reference to the afterlife, because he knew that there was such a thing. Is it any wonder that he still wishes to communicate after leaving this world?
For me, personally, I could not remain sad the way that his fans did and still do. Because he is a constant presence in my life, someone I talk to all the time (when I say all the time, I mean constant, like an angel over my shoulder). If I were to cry and whine the way his fans do, he would seriously tell me to stop (being like that).
Really, all he really wants is for you to know that there is an afterlife. And because there is, you must consider how you are living this one. Live for love, and without regrets, dear friends. One day, we will all have to look back at our lives and answer if there was any meaning it. It’s better to do that now than after we go.
Image above: “Prince’s office” by Carver County.
©2018 by Andrea Mai. All rights reserved.